Whom Am I Seeking?

“’Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you looking for?’ She thought it was the gardener and said to him, ‘Sir, if you carried him away, tell me where you laid him, and I will take him.’ Jesus said to her, ‘Mary!’ She turned and said to him in Hebrew, ‘Rabbouni,’ which means Teacher. Jesus said to her, ‘Stop holding on to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father…” (John 20: 11-18

 For whom am I looking  as I walk through “the garden” of life today? Am I looking for Jesus? Or, am I looking for myself, for power, for recognition, for dominance, for control, for superiority over others? Onto whom/what am I holding/clutching/clinging?   Am I clinging to my anger, resentments, impatience, mistrust, anxiety, pride? Am I clutching onto my will and ignoring the will of my Father in heaven. In the liturgy of the Mass today when I prayed “Hallowed be thy name; Thy Kingdom come on earth as in heaven,” did those words fall short because what I was really praying was “Hallowed be my name; my will be done on earth, not the Lord’s?

If so, then when I actually do encounter Jesus today, I will not recognize Him. I may not even hear him call me by name.  Lord, I ask for mercy and a transformed heart so that, in truth, it is You I seek, Your Way and Your will that I follow, Your Truth that I embrace and Your Voice to which I listen. I ask for these graces in Your name. Amen!