Dealing with Difficult Times and Depressing Feelings

In today's first reading, Job 9: 1-12, 14-6, Job is so depressed that he cursed the day that he was born:  "Perish the day on which I was born, the night when they said, 'It is a boy!' Why did I not perish at birth, come forth from the womb and expire," Job asks God in his despairing moments. Depression is a horrible experience. Many suffer its ravaging emotions, its darkness, not knowing what to do or to whom to turn. Sometimes medication simply does not seem to work. All seems lost!  To get out of bed in the morning, to put one foot ahead of the other, so to speak, to keep on and stay involved in life in spite of one's lethargy is a monumental task.

Many of us, when going through hard times, are encouraged by the psalms. In today's responsorial psalm, Psalm 88, we pray:

O Lord, my God, by day I cry out;
at night I clamor in your presence.
Let my prayer come before you; 
incline your ear to my call for help.

For my soul is surfeited with troubles
and my life draws near to the nether world.
I am numbered with those who go down into the pit;
I am a [person] without strength.

My couch is among the dead,
like the slain who lie in the grave,
Whom you remember no longer
and who are cut off from your care.

You have plunged me into the bottom of the pit,
into the dark abyss [of depression].
Upon me your wrath [seems to lie] heavy, 
and with all your billows you overwhelm me.

That is what depression feels like! Both Job and the psalmist teach us to mince no words in our prayer but to tell the Lord how it really is with us when we are troubled, troubled to the point of death!  Let us not pretend that all is well when all is not well!  God wants honesty from us, not because He does not know what we may be suffering but because honesty sets us free. When we can name an emotion, we are in control. When we are unable to name our emotions, they control us! Let us take control by acknowledging before God what we are truly feeling when we are down or hurt, angry or frustrated.  I have found that sharing my feelings with the Lord in writing and then asking for God's counsel works for me. God always comes through with words of Wisdom that lift my spirits, that give me the courage to go on and stay involved in life, giving the best I am capable of giving!

How about you?

The Indescrible Pain of a Situational Depression

In today’s first reading, Job 3: 1-3, 11-17, 2023, Job curses the day that he was born. Sunk into a deep depression caused by the loss of everything—his children and his property—Job is so distraught that death seems to be the only solution to his indescribable pain.  “Why did I not perish at birth,” He asks the Lord. “Why is…life [given] to the bitter in spirit? They wait for death and it comes not; they search for it rather than for hidden treasures, rejoice in it exultingly and are glad when they reach the grave: those whose path is hidden from them, and whom God has hemmed in!”  Depression can be so painful that death seems like the only out.  In my deepest pain, I have said: “Lord, I understand why some people consider suicide.”  Job was at that point.

Both Job and the psalmist, in today’s responsorial psalm, Psalm 88, teach us how to bare our souls to the Lord  when we are in the pit of desolation: 

                                Let my prayer come before you;

                                Incline your ear to my call for help.

                                For my soul is surfeited with troubles

                                And my life draws near to the nether world.

                                I am numbered with those who go down into the pit;

                                I am a man [a woman, a young girl/boy] without strength.

                                My couch is among the dead,

                                Like the slain who lie in the grave,

                                …who are cut off from your care.

                                You have plunged me into the bottom of the pit,

                                Into the dark abyss....                             

When we are in such darkness, it is important not to minimize it. Others may do that in hopes of making us feel better. The fact is we are in pain.  That is what needs to be expressed in agonizing prayer (the way Jesus talked to His Father in Gethsemane). It also needs to be talked about with someone who is supportive and loving and doesn’t need to “fix” it.  Sometimes all the other can do is hold our hand. I read a book recently of a man suffering a serious situational depression. Besides seeing a professional counselor, what most helped him was the person who visited him daily and simply, with his permission, massaged his feet--that connection was the only connection he felt. The friend remained silent as he lovingly did the foot massage. He did not offer meaningless platitudes. He was supportive, as Mary was beneath the cross of Jesus, where she shared her Son’s powerlessness.

What do I do when  someone I love is suffering a darkness that I am powerless to remove?  Am I willing to be there without trying to “fix” it?  Or, do I stay away because I do not want to feel powerless with the person in a pit so deep that the solution  is out of reach at the moment?