"My Ways Are Not Your Ways; My Thoughts Are Not Your Thoughts"

Imagine yourself being frustrated with yourself for not doing something that you believe is important or not having the motivation you used to have,  not having the energy you would like to have because of advanced age or a chronic illness, and so on. And then imagine a conversation with the Lord that goes something like this:

You:  Lord, I am so frustrated with myself?

The Lord:  Why?

You: Because I am not spending enough time in prayer with you.

The Lord: Why is that important to you?

You: I want to grow in my relationship with You.

The Lord: Is that the only way?

You: No!

The Lord: Other ways are?

You: Doing Your Will.

Lord: "You want to be a super person. You are that but not in the ways you think! I do not measure success as you do. You want to accumulate points for what you perceive as great achievements, such as:

          I did my hour of prayer.
          I volunteered at the Senior Center.
          I got involved in the several events at the parish.
          I took my children/grandchildren to the park.
          I bought flowers for my wife/husband.
          I prepared meals for my family this weekend.
          I attended the parish retreat for Lenten preparation.
          I got "employee of the month award."

I don't count the hours you spend in prayer or any other "holy" activity. What I ask of you is to surrender your life to me moment by moment--the good and the bad, the successes and the failures, doing the best you can each day.  Give me all!

I don't need you to win awards. I will showcase you in my Heart. I love you more than you can imagine and I delight in you when:

           --you feel frustrated with yourself
           --you have no energy
          --you feel weighed down by illness or advanced age

I cherish you when:

          --your arms are heavy with fatigue and simply fall limp at your side
          --you feel discombobulated, confused, weak

Your weakness is My strength.  When you can hardly lift your arms, I let them rest on my lap. Today and every day, I only ask that you give me your time, your energy, your desires and efforts.  Give me the little you have, the energy you do not have, your fatigue, your efforts. I am at work in and through you at all times, especially when you think I am not there!  Giving yourself to me when you are at a low point praises me more than you will ever know.  Also, I want you to learn that I am God and you are not.  You are a human being--my work of art. I am putting fine lines into your personality to enhance the beauty of My Art piece that is you as my beloved.  It is not about your prowess. I am teaching you to glorify Me through Jesus, my Son. I am hiding you in Me. Cherish the hidden way of My love."
         

     

Peace as Related to a Firm Purpose and Trust

In today’s first reading, Is. 26: 1-6, the prophet states that the Lord keep in peace those nations who trust in Him. That also means that the Lord keeps a family, a person, a parish, a city at peace when those entities/persons trust in the Lord. When I go “bonkers,” when I lose my peace, it is then that I am not trusting in the Lord but in myself, in other human beings, in materials things that have no power to save or to right a wrong or quell the opposition.  The strength of my trust may very well be in how I react when meeting opposition, encountering difficulties, experiencing setbacks or glitches in my “armor.”

Isaiah, furthermore, states, of the Lord, that “[a] nation of firm purpose, you keep in peace.” I might compare when my purpose is strong and when it is weak. If my purpose is strong, I am then determined to find God, to discern God’s will. I rely on God alone and am open to, humble about, considering the opinion/input from others, knowing that each person has a significant part of the truth.  My purpose is weak when I am seeking self-aggrandizement, power over others; when I am  pursuing my will or relying on self apart from God and when, pridefully, I discard the insight from others or avoid listening to others altogether.

The consequence of operating from a weak purposed , in the words of Isaiah, is that the Lord will humble me and tumble me from the “high places” where pride leads me. I will be brought low, tumbled to the ground.  My pride will be leveled “with the dust”; it will “be trampled underfoot” (compare Isaiah 26: 1-6). In the words of today’s Gospel, when my purpose is weak I am building my house on sand. When it is strong, I am building upon a firm foundation, the Rock who is God.

Our Vulnerabilities and Weaknesses and God's Strength and Understanding

“…[S]teadfast is his kindness toward us, and the fidelity of the Lord endures forever,” is what we pray in today’s responsorial psalm.   In the Gospel, Jesus teaches us to pray, saying “Father, hallowed (blessed, sacred, holy) be your name, your Kingdom come. Give us each day our daily bread and forgive us our sins (on a daily basis, Lord)….”  In the first reading, Galatians 2: 1-2, 7-14, Paul confronts  Peter for his hypocrisy, as he stops associating with Gentiles when his fellow Jews are around, protecting himself from their criticism. In this case, Peter is unfaithful to Jesus’ example of inclusivity out of fear of his fellow Jews. This is not new behavior on Peter’s part. When the “fire got turned up” following Jesus’ arrest, Peter denies Him. When he realizes his sinfulness, Peter sobs, repents and returns to the Lord for mercy.

God is always faithful to us sinners, is always our Father, always protecting us, always loving us no matter what we do contrary to what Jesus teaches us. This past week I found myself in Peter’s place.  I was unkind, unchristian and rude toward an airline agent who communicated the news that I would not be able to get a flight home (a flight was cancelled on my outgoing business trip and now again on my return home). I reacted poorly, berating the airlines and demanding that a way be found for me to return home that night.  “I had to get home tonight,” I angrily stated. I could have avoided this escalation of my anger had I said to myself:  “It would be nice to get home tonight but that is not possible. Go and enjoy a quiet evening reading in a comfortable hotel room, enjoy a nice meal and relax.”

 As time passed and I got settled in the hotel for the night, I came face to face with my sinfulness, my infidelity to Jesus, my vulnerability to human weakness.  However, not only did I berate the airlines and speak rudely to the agent, I now began to berate myself.  Jesus’ response, once I came to Him (initially I could not pray), was:  Dorothy Ann, you do not deserve to be verbally abused (any more than did the lady working at the airlines’ Customer Service Center). Your expectation of getting home was not met. Humanly speaking you are going to feel disappointed, frustrated….Stop berating yourself. Yes, sin in you rears its head from time to time to teach you your dependence upon Me, that, without Me, left to your own devices, you will succumb to your willfulness and selfishness.  The good you do, at any time, is the Spirit at work in you. The not-so-good-- the unkindness, selfishness, stinginess, the narrow-mindedness, the impatience—is weakness in you. You are vulnerable to that weakness at any time. At all times you are in need of grace.”