Honesty in Prayer

In today's first reading, 1 Samuel 1: 9-20, Hannah pours out her soul to the Lord, expressing her deep sorrow at not being able to bear children and enduring Penninah's  repeated insults about her barrenness.  "In her bitterness she prayed to the Lord, weeping copiously, and she made a vow promising:  "O Lord of hosts,  if you look with pity on the misery of your handmaid, if you remember me and do not forget me, if you give your handmaid a male child, I will give him to the Lord for as long as he lives; neither wine nor liquor shall  he drink, and no razor shall ever touch his head.'" Her emotional expression of her grief leads Eli, the priest, to think that she is drunk and, insultingly, he asks her:  "How long will you make a drunken show of yourself?  Sober up from your wine!"  Being the strong woman that she is, Hannah stands up to the priest and reveals her soul to him, telling him that she is  not drunk but is expressing  her misery to the Lord on being childless.  Eli realizes that he has judged her wrongly and says to her: "Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant you what you have asked of him."  Hannah then asked him to think kindly of her!

God did hear Hannah's prayer and she conceived a son, Samuel, whom she dedicated to the Lord!

What do we learn from this Scripture passage?  Number one, to bare our souls to the Lord in prayer, as Hannah did. God wants us to be honest with Him and not pretend that everything is okay when, in fact, we are in misery. God cares about our sufferings but we need to be open about the pain we are experiencing.  Only then can God help us.  Number two, to be honest with others who make fun of us and not withdraw into silence, bearing the insults and repressing our sorrow.  Repressed feelings do not go away but fester until such time as we embrace them and are honest with ourselves. Only then do we experience the freedom and vindication that Hannah experienced when she confronted Eli, not in anger but in truth. Cooperating with grace, Eli realized that he had misjudged her, wished her peace and prayed that God would respond positively to her. Even if Hannah had not gotten a positive response from Eli, the truth freed her from becoming resentful.

What do you, do I, do with our bitterness? our hurts? our misery?  our concerns?  Do we, in fact, go to the Lord and bare our souls to Him?  During one of my prayer hours, I was silent about an issue that was troubling me. The Lord confronted me and said something like:"I know that you are covering up an issue rather than being honest with me! I can only help you if you open your heart to me and share your sorrow and the source of that sorrow."  Every time I lay my heart bare to the Lord, I am amazed at His response and the peace that floods my soul. If I am not honest and leave prayer without having shared my true concerns, I take my  negative feelings and unresolved issue with me, as I certainly did not leave them with God! How sad when that happens and how sad God, too, must be when I do that!

What about you?

The Presence of Evil

In today's first reading, Jeremiah 11: 18-20,  the prophet realizes that he, "like a trusting lamb led to slaughter had not realized that [his enemies] were hatching plots against [him]."  "I knew their plot because the Lord informed me; at that time you, O Lord, showed me their doings."  As with Jeremiah, so, too, with Jesus.  Men blinded by personal ambitions felt threatened by Jesus and plotted his death.  His wisdom was too much for them. The Truth of his teachings were feared.

What happened to Jesus and to Jeremiah happens to us to this very day. Sometimes we are the one's plotted against and sometimes we are the ones doing the plotting.  Jealousy and pride can continue to consume people as they build  their ego "dynasties" or protect "dynasties" already built! Evil is born in these situations, as we witness our government leaders and leaders of other nations plotting evil against those who they see as threats.  No one is safe in these evil schemes.  People, "like a trusting lamb, [are being] led [to the] slaughter."

With Jeremiah, let us say to the Lord: [T]o you I have entrusted my cause!" Let us, also, entrust to the Lord the cause of those who have become the latest victims of the jealous rage of those building ego "dynasties". And finally let us answer the question: Am I involved in plotting evil against anyone?  Am I, have I, slaughtered anyone by  slanderous, deceitful words that led to unjust job losses or the loss of their reputation?

A lesson from King David

As I reflected on today’s first reading, 2 Sam 15, 13-14, 30: 16: 5-13, the following prayer followed:

“Lord, what an example from your servant, David!  His son is seeking to kill him. Others have raised up against him, cursing him and throwing stones  and dirt at him. He stops his army from striking back, as You stopped Your disciples who wanted to kill those who rejected You or rose up against You. David mirrors Your trust in Your Father.  Help us, Lord. When others rise up against us, when we are tempted to strike back with stinging words, weapons that do not destroy the body but deeply wound the soul.  You tell us, as you told Peter, ‘Put your weapons back in your scabbard.’ Stop the violence!

“Lord, give each of us the strength and the trust of King David. We, your servants, want to obey your command to stop any violent attack both of weapons that harm the body but also of weapons that bring harm to the soul of our brothers and sisters in Christ.  Yes, we want to stop throwing ‘dirt,’ as well.  We truly want to stop the violence that led to your death on the cross and leads to so many people continuing to die prematurely.  Help us, O God! Help us!”